My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I smell stomach acid.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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