I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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