i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
