i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
