he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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