So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
