Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
