this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you will always have a special place in my vag
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
