so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
