i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
