I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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