i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
