Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
