I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
