EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
only if we run a train.
done.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
