Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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