on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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