She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I want a musical about memes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
