Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
