I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
