She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
