So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
its liver damage thursday
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
