She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
