its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
