Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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