How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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