She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
