so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
