Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
