He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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