He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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