Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
