apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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