Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
