I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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