I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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