this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
