My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
