its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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