you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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