thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
