My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
