What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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