Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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