I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
