Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
operation harelip BJ is a go
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
