haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
