There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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