No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
