i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
