***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
