shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
