You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
