yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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