Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
