I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
