once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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