oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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