That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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