Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
