Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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