Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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