That's when you crack a 10am beer
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
