you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
