I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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