Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
