i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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