apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize