i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
