Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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